A Little Knowledge
by rozisa
Summary: Without calling ahead, Bruce goes to Wales to visit Martha. The story takes place after "I'll be home for Christmas" and "Accidental Zombie." It's just some crossover fun. A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.


A Little Knowledge

Author's Note: This story takes place after "I'll be home for Christmas" and after "Accidental Zombie" and before the second chapter of "Heart of the Matter." I noticed that the wedding in "Safety First" and "Accidental Zombie" is the same wedding, so this story needed to be written. Let the crossover fun begin.

Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. Disney does. I don't own Torchwood. BBC does.

xxxx

After checking into an hotel and getting a rental car, Bruce arrived at Martha and Mickey Smith's house at about seven o'clock. Tony told him to take a taxi since driving on the other side of the road could be a challenge. However, Bruce wanted the freedom of his own car.

Since Bruce came over unannounced Martha already had company over - two ladies about Martha's age - a rosy cheeked brunette and a tall slender blonde. The brunette had on a leather aviation jacket and the blonde had on a pink sweater (jumper in the vernacular). Both had on jeans.

"Dr. Bruce Banner, may I introduce Diane Holmes and Dr. Owen Harper?" said Martha. "You met them at the wedding."

Bruce should have called before coming over, but he figured if Martha wasn't home he'd visit Stonehedge and other historical sites in the United Kingdom. She did tell him her door was always open. He remembered Diane from the wedding. She was sitting with a slender man who didn't touch his champagne the whole reception or his cake for that matter. He could have been on a diet. Still Diane's wedding companion seems to move a bit too little, not that everyone fidgeted as much as Bruce. There was something unnatural about his lack of movement, but Bruce couldn't quite put a finger on it. "It's nice seeing you both, again," Bruce said not wanting to admit he didn't remember the tall blonde, Dr. Harper, from Martha's wedding.

Diane reached out her hand and shook Bruce's hand in a firm strong manner. "Dr. Banner, what brings you to Wales?"

"Please, call me Bruce." Bruce adjusted his glasses even though they weren't falling off his nose - nervous habit. "Martha. While she was visiting New York, I teased her that I've only visited the UK on business and all I saw the first time I came to this lovely country was the inside of my hotel. She told me she would rectify that."

"Owen here is terrified of trees and grass," said Diane. "So Martha and I can give you a native tour of the countryside."

"I can tolerate trees and grass as long as there is a proper amount of buildings around them," Owen said defending herself. "Preferably, tall buildings. Lots of people fear wide open spaces. It has a name and everything: agoraphobia."

"What's a cockney doing in the wide open spaces of Wales?" asked Bruce.

"Diane." Owen squeezed Diane's hand than kissed her cheek. "I would battle dragons for her."

Diane squeezed Owen's hand back. "I don't deserve her."

"When I saw Diane, I knew she was the one." Owen smiled at Diane while still holding her hand. "Diane wasn't that sure about me. But I waited and she returned, proving that love conquers all."

"Is everything OK between you and Tony?" asked Martha.

"Fine," said Bruce.

"Then why isn't he tagging along?" asked Martha.

"Because Iron Man doesn't tag along with anyone. People tag along aside him." Bruce pinched his nose. "Seriously, Tony is racing in some Formula One race or something. And seeing him driving a car real fast isn't good for my nerves. He has Pepper and Rhodey cheering him on."

"Formula One racing," said Mickey. "I could get into that."

"You never watched racing on the telly," said Martha.

"Doing, not watching," said Mickey. "I'm a man of action."

"How does action man manage around all these women?" asked Bruce.

Mickey hugged Martha. "They love me. What can I say?"

Diane faked punched him.

"Diane and Owen can't keep their hands off each other," said Mickey. "Who doesn't want to see two lezzies go at it?"

Diane gave Mickey a death stare.

"I'm cool. Just having a bit of fun," explained Mickey. "Martha and Owen are both doctors and, when they get into talking diseases and bodily fluids, Diane and I turn on the telly."

Diane said, "We can watch your man race on the telly."

Bruce said, "If I wanted to see him race, I would be in the stands. Besides, racing season hasn't started, yet. It's some preliminary thing."

Martha touched Bruce's shoulder. "Girlfriend, do you need to talk alone?"

"You aren't a psychiatrist," said Bruce. "Tony tried to use me as his psychiatrist. I fell asleep. At least, he's talking."

"Talking is good." Martha put on her jacket. "Let's talk outside."

Bruce put on his jacket and followed Martha out the door.

Martha walked onto the pavement and a few steps away from the house. "Talk."

"What's there to say? Me and adrenaline don't go together and auto racing is an adrenaline frenzy?" said Bruce. "Tony told me when we got engaged that he could always take Pepper or Rhodey as his plus one whenever being Tony Stark didn't lend itself to going places or doing things inside my comfort zone."

"Going to a grassy field is outside Owen's comfort zone," said Martha.

"You're kidding." Bruce smiled in spite of himself.

"No, Jack took the team to the spot just outside Nowhere and Owen nearly peed on herself. As it was, she locked the keys inside the van," said Martha. "Of course, I'm going on hearsay. I wasn't there. So you shouldn't feel bad about not going to an auto race."

Bruce pushed his glasses a bit higher on his nose. "It's just that everyone saw Tony outside The Chinese Theatre alone. Now he's at some high coverage event without me. The press will be writing the honeymoon is over." It would only be a media event because Tony was there. They were probably just talking to the pit crew or checking out the track or something.

Martha looked at Bruce a moment, making him awake of his fidgeting. "Is the honeymoon over?"

"No, everything is good." Bruce smiled. Now that Tony had exposed himself to Extermis, they didn't need protection in the bedroom to keep Tony from getting exposed to Bruce's radioactive blood because Tony's blood was now immune to the mutagen. They only needed the latex gloves when they wanted to play mad scientist. "The sex is better than ever."

"Good, not great or fabulous," said Martha.

"Tony didn't tell me about the Extermis shit until he was at gunpoint," said Bruce.

"Gunpoint?" Martha took Bruce's hand and lead him down the street.

"That was after the house was firebombed with Tony inside. He was this close to dying." Bruce gestured how close with his finger and thumb close together. "I couldn't bear to lose him."

Martha hugged Bruce. "I'm sorry."

Bruce hugged Martha back. "They had a gun at Tony and I was being held in a lab on the other side country. I felt so helpless. I never been so scared in my life. Tony's my everything. Killian taunted me while I watched Savin wave a gun at Tony's face. I know I should have let Killian do his worse to me, but I panicked and changed and the other guy ripped Killian's head off."

Martha jerked a second but she continued to hug Bruce. "Wow."

"I came to all covered in blood." Bruce stopped patting Martha's back, but accepted the hug and didn't cringe or back away. "I made light of it at that moment, but I just wanted to die. Not die. Vanish on the spot in shame."

"You aren't responsible for the other guy's actions," said Martha.

Bruce stopped hugging Martha, took a step back and looked at the pavement. "He's my id."

"This Killian guy was threatening Tony and you're very protective of him," said Martha. "The other guy never ripped someone's head off before."

"Not that I know of," said Bruce. "My memories of being the other guy are foggy at best."

"Bruce, your feelings aren't wrong or right. They just are."

"People get killed because of my feelings."

"Killian was a bad man," said Martha. "He firebombed your house and tried to kill your husband. I know that doesn't ease the guilt."

"It doesn't," admitted Bruce. "And don't compare my condition to Owen's. Changing into a giant id monster is a lot worse than agoraphobia."

"You would think." Martha laughed. "Owen's panic of the great outdoors caused the van to be stolen by cannibals. It isn't my story. I wasn't there." By now, she was laughing so hard that she was holding her stomach. "I'm so sorry."

Bruce smiled to spite himself. "Cannibals?"

"Honest to goodness cannibals, not an alien in sight," said Martha.

"Cannibals," Bruce said, again. "I get pretty hungry after the other guy leaves, but I never ate someone."

"Just out shwarmaed Steve and Thor according to Tony," teased Martha.

Bruce smiled a little. "Thanks for making me feel better." Bruce ran his fingers through his curls. "Let's head back."

"Diane and Mickey are probably yelling at the telly while Owen is trying to figure out which team has the ball."

"I never been into sports myself," admitted Bruce. "The closest I get to sports is playing the occasional video game."

"I don't follow sports either. The only reason Owen and I hide in the kitchen is because Diane and Mickey see football as a reason to get pissed and eat too many crisps."

Bruce put an arm around Martha as they headed back. "I can't imagine the woman who walked the Earth as a football widow."

Martha didn't acknowledge that comment. "Back to gossip. Did I tell you Gwen had a little girl, Anwen?"

"No," said Bruce. "Do tell."

xxxx

As expected, Bruce, Martha and Owen ended up sitting at the dining room table while Mickey and Diane hogged the living room couch. Martha and Mickey lived a very middle-class two bedroom house. Nothing about their home said they fought alien invaders for a living, which was probably how they liked it.

Dr. Owen Harper was the name of the man who worked as the Torchwood doctor before Martha got the position. Bruce only skimmed the file on Martha, but the gentleman that had the job before her had died from a gunshot wound. Then it was a bit sketchy how he survived the fatal or nearly fatal wounds, but he returned to work. Then soon after, he was supposedly vaporised by superheated stream. The young lady holding her own discussing alien physiology seemed very much alive.

"I don't mean to embarrass you, but you bought up the agoraphobia," said Bruce. "And Martha mentioned your van being stolen by cannibals because you got anxious around all the grass. That's a story I wouldn't mind hearing."

"It's classified," said Owen.

"I'm classified," teased Bruce.

"Then you're in good company," said Owen. "Diane, Mickey and myself are also classified."

"You don't like men," said Bruce.

"I like men fine," Owen said. "You're phishing or you would tell me what you have on me."

Bruce smiled and drank a bit of tea. "You're right - I'm phishing. Sorry."

"I would love to hear about your caregiver robots," said Owen.

"Bruce is also right," said Martha. "What do Unique, Tosh and I have in common? We're all female. When did you ever have a nice thing to say about a male co-worker?"

"Whoa!" shouted Owen, laying her left hand over her bosom. She had pink gel nails. Her hand was rather stiff, making Bruce wonder if she had suffered nerve damage. "Ianto shot me."

"You were trying to open the rift."

"Jack and Tosh would have been stuck in the past if I didn't," Owen said defending herself. "Looking back, it was the wrong decision. Tosh wouldn't have been killed by Grey and Jack would have been none the worse for wear and Tosh's grandchildren would have visited us the day after their old grandmother went back into the past."

"You don't know that," said Martha. "She could have died in the Blitz, and she would have never known how much you loved her."

Owen put her other well-manicured hand over her chest. "You think she knew?"

"You broke your finger for her then took a long walk on a short pier. Tosh was a lot of things but dense wasn't one of them."

Owen put her hands back on the table. Her good hand covering her weak one. "During the 48 hours we were all retconned, I bought her flowers. The note was in my handwriting."

Martha touched the fingertips of Owen's bad hand. "She knew."

"No one, actually, takes a long walk off a short pier," said Bruce, attempting to follow.

"Owen did," said Martha.

"You're the Owen Harper that Martha replaced in Torchwood," said Bruce. "I only read Martha's file, not yours, so there wasn't any pictures, but I'm fairly certain the file said something about Martha covering for Dr. Harper after his gunshot wound."

Owen's eyes went to her lap. "What else did you read?"

"You died in a nuclear power plant accident - turned into radioactive ash due to superheated stream," said Bruce, sheepishly. "I'm not looking at a pile of ash, so the file was mistaken."

"Rerouted the containment breach," Owen gave what looked like a forced smile. "My knowledge of nuclear power plants is limited to random shit and thingamabobs, so let's say I rerouted the steam to another room that I wasn't fucking occupying. With Tosh gone, I didn't want to return to Torchwood and Jack doesn't deal well with loose ends, so I let him believe I was dead."

"Ah," said Bruce. "That makes sense."

"Wait a fucking second," Owen exclaimed. "He rehired Martha after he learned I was working at Flat Holm. He lied to protect me."

"He loves you," said Martha. "Owen is sitting here because energy from the TARDIS vortex through Jack is keeping Owen animated. Since the life energy is glued to Jack, Owen is animated but has no life signs. When the glove reanimated Suzie, the glove stole Gwen's life energy and gave it to Suzie."

Bruce stared at Owen. "No life signs."

"The energy was coming from Duroc," said Owen.

"Duroc stopped providing the energy a long time ago," explained Martha. "You're now getting your energy from the TARDIS through Jack."

"You should have told me," said Owen.

"What difference would it have made?" asked Martha.

"None, I guess," said Owen.

Bruce said, trying to follow, "Owen gets her energy from an outside source, not from eating and drinking. That's why she hasn't touched her tea."

"My heart was shattered by the bullet, so it no longer beats. My diaphragm contracts, but my lungs no longer take in oxygen. You can touch my hand. I'm cool to the touch. I'm covered in opaque make-up head to toe because my skin is pale due to lack of blood, so when you touch my hand, you'll feel sealant and not skin." Owen reached her hand across the table. "I told you mine. Why are you classified?"

Bruce gave an awkward grin. "I'm the Hulk. Do you still want to shake hands?"

Owen smiled. "As long as you're gentle. I also don't heal."

Bruce shook Owen's cool hand. "Friends?"

Owen then placed her hands on her lap. "Friends." Her hands. Deciding to live as a woman couldn't have been an easy choice for Owen to make. Bruce had to respect her wishes.

"Martha and Mickey travelled with this doctor - not named John Smith," said Bruce. "So that's why they're classified. Did Diane also travel with him?"

Owen put a finger over her lips then giggled. "That's not for me to say."

"You didn't like Ianto before he shot you," said Martha.

"Before he shot me, he was a secretive tosser that hid his cyberman girlfriend in the basement," said Owen. "We only tolerated him for his coffee."

"Bruce, I'll call Jack to tell him a need a few days off," said Martha. "Owen, Jack can call you if he needs a doctor."

"He won't," said Owen. "He won't even give me the location of the new facility."

"You did have pizza delivered to the old one," said Martha.

Bruce laughed. "I wouldn't give you the location of my secret lair."

"Ha ha ha," said Owen.

"If I had one," said Bruce.

"Tony must have a secret lair or two," teased Martha.

"His not mine," said Bruce. "We sleep in the master bedroom, but we each have our own studies and laboratories - makes for a happier marriage. Once when I was treating a patient, JARVIS, the home security AI, kept Tony out of my laboratory for hours." JARVIS did a lot more than home security, but that was his most important job. Now that Bruce kept Tony fed and watered.

"Tony must have loved that," said Martha.

"It works both ways," said Bruce. "When Tony is up to his eyeballs in robot parts and his newest gadgets for his body armor I can't barge in."

"You can't," said Martha. "Somehow, I don't believe that."

Bruce shook his head. "JARVIS has to announce me. It gives Tony a moment to put down the torch."

Martha and Owen smiled.

"You and Mickey work together, so you must have some ground rules in place," said Bruce.

"Mickey had said early on that work stays at work and home stays home, but our hours at Torchwood don't allow that. Too much overlap," said Martha. "But we try to keep all the aliens and space junk out of the home."

"Martha is better at turning off the mobile phone than I am," said Owen. "Then I didn't have a life until Diane returned to me."

"You don't have a life now," teased Martha.

"I'm not alive," said Owen, "But I have a life. There is a difference."


End file.
